Is Satan in your hard drive?

[pimpy moon]

(Sorry, I don't know how to do the little blue linking thing but get a load of this!)


"While the Computer Age has ushered in many advances, it has also opened yet another door through which Lucifer and his minions can enter and corrupt men's souls," said the Reverend Jim Peasboro, author of an upcoming book, The Devil in the Machine.

Demons are able to possess anything with a brain, from a chicken to a human being. And today's thinking machines have enough space on their hard drives to accommodate Satan or his pals.

"Any PC built after 1985 has the storage capacity to house an evil spirit," the minister confirmed.

The Savannah clergyman says he became aware of the problem from counseling churchgoers.
"I learned that many members of my congregation became in touch with a dark force whenever they used their computers," he said. "Decent, happily married family men were drawn irresistibly to pornographic websites and forced to witness unspeakable abominations.

"Housewives who had never expressed an impure thought were entering Internet chat rooms and found themselves spewing foul, debasing language they would never use normally.

"One woman wept as she confessed to me, 'I feel when I'm on the computer as if someone else or something else just takes over.' "



MwaHaHaHa!!!!!!!!

[Kristi]

People are so lame.

Satan's not in your computer, he's in your television set, duh.

[HowardM2]

Sounds like he's watched one too many episodes of Buffy (http://www.buffyguide.com/episodes/irobot/irobotsyn.shtml).

[Kristi]

Sounds like he's watched one too many episodes of Buffy.Actually, Howard, Satan is the brainchild of Buffy... and as a special side gig, he possesses each actor as the show is filmed. How else would their lip gloss stay so *shiny* ?

[Rachel Lindley]

Satan in Your Hard Drive, Venus on Your Mind

-- the next big country and western hit.

[pimpy moon]

Aw, Rachel, the blues, it must be the blues.

[Dunc]

Woke up dis mornin', devil in mah hard drive,
Yeah, ah woke up dis mornin', de devil got mah hard drive.
Roll over, sweet mamma, 'cos it's good to be alive.
No, there ain't no thing called de devil in de hard drive blues.

[Urizen]

Well, my cd rom drive just flew open all by itself. I asked the computer to do it again, but no go. Some phrases in Latin came out of the speakers. Then some really nasty comments about my mother. A few minutes later the words "Help Me" appeared on the monitor in big bold letters.

It's cold in here.

Bill

[earthshoes]

Originally posted by Kristi
People are so lame.

Satan's not in your computer, he's in your television set, duh.

No. That's silly. Television sets can't be possessed.

He's in the remote control. Ever wonder where it keeps disappearing to when you put it down?

mary
[SIZE=1]Anybody else smell brimstone?[/SIZE]

[Rik Roots]

Originally posted by Kristi
People are so lame.

Satan's not in your computer, he's in your television set, duh.

No, it's cameras in the televisions, watching your every move.

I keep my Satan pinned to my front door, where he can hold four hour conversations with any passing Evangelical types keen on converting me to their flavour of delusion.

[Roge]

Originally posted by Rachel Lindley
Satan in Your Hard Drive, Venus on Your Mind

-- the next big country and western hit.

Venus on my Hard Drive, Satan in my mind.

Help he is taking over... [SIZE=1](but not too fast 'cause it's a lot of fun at the moment. Yeah go Venus woohooooo)[/SIZE]

[dagonee]

There is no better resource on Satan in computers than Sluggy Freelance (http://sluggy.com/daily.php?date=970825). The next 5 comics after the linked one deal directly with this important issue, although the theme is revisited constantly.

Dagonee

[prokopton]

maleficus ex machina?

[Rachel Lindley]

Nolite te MS bastardes carborundorum.

[willow213]

Well, I've managed to keep Satan out of my laptop, but I am sure he is in my main computer, freezing up my programs as soon as I get to work, losing my files, and calling in the dreaded "blue screen" at the worst possible moment.

I just thought I had registry problems.

:rolleyes: Willow

[Tony Hoffman]

Originally posted by dagonee
There is no better resource on Satan in computers than Sluggy Freelance (http://sluggy.com/daily.php?date=970825). The next 5 comics after the linked one deal directly with this important issue, although the theme is revisited constantly.

Dagonee

Best and truest dialogue from that strip:

"How do ya know you got *the* Satan, instead of a lesser demon?"

"He installed Windows 95 on my system."

[pimpy moon]

Originally posted by earthshoes
No. That's silly. Television sets can't be possessed.


But they can be repossessed, so who had them the first time round? My money's on David Letterman, he's hellish enough

[dagonee]

Tony,

I think the next line gives an even clearer demonstration of satanic power:

"Win95? But Riff, you have a Mac!"

Dagonee
*Lover of all things Sluggy.

[mattj]

I'm not convinced of the devil occupying the hard drive theory, but there's little doubt that a lot of people's dark sides were certainly exposed with their introduction to the internet.

later
matt

[prokopton]

I remember the dark side..

DOS 3.0
*sighs nostalgically*

all that lovely big dark space on the screen
and just one wee blinking cursor..

Those were the days!

Geoff
never had a crash with DOS.

delete *.*

oops!

[Rob Mackenzie]

My computer is driving me crazy. It goes slow, crashes, refuses to accept good e-mails, and won't let me into secure sites (that's its latest ploy). Also, it sent an e-mail with a virus in it to some innocent person without my knowledge - don't ask me how.
I don't believe in Satan, but I am convinced my computer is evil. It is the embodiment of evil. It hates me. And it hates you too. And I will get rid of it in some terrible way. Soon.

Rob.