Poems at the Poetry Free-for-all - Cliches - learning to recognize and eliminate them

Jeanne G

02-29-2004, 11:29 PM

This exercise helped me so much in recognizing and replacing the cliches in my work. I copied this from a Canadian grammar book "Mastering Effective English", and took turns fixing the sentences out loud w/ my bf. It was really funny because, we were surprised at how often we automatically reached for another cliche to replace the exercise ones. So here it is, let me know if it helps. You may want to leave your own original concoctions to dazzle and inspire or to have another helpful critter correct you if the ogre under the cliche snares you again.

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{One cliche busting} practical exercise {coming to a voyage near you}, {keep your eyes peeled}, be waiting {with baited breathe}.

Be vigilant and attentive, an overused language duster for your poetic rooms will be appearing in our Voyage section.
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Rewrite the following sentences, substituting fresh and original expressions for what is trite.

1. Tired but happy in God's great out doors, we wended our way home.

2. A goodly number of newspapers reported the trials and tribulations of the survivors.

3. Conspicuous by her absence was the young hopeful who had embarked on the sea of life.

4. Hungry as bears, the swimmers did justice to the meal that they barbecued with breakneck speed.

5. Like a bolt from a clear blue sky, the news came that Ginny was the proud owner of a new car.

6. We had the privilege of listening to a mere slip of girl who favoured us with a selection.

7. After working like Trojans to pack the suitcases, we were doomed to disappointment because the taxi did not arrive until the wee, small hours of the morning, too late for us to catch the red-eye special to Windsor.

8. The speaker beat a hasty retreat after gales of laughter greeted his proposal.

9. As my better half would say, "Don't act so high and mighty."

10. As luck would have it, mother nature provided us with a camera buff's paradise.

Dunc

03-01-2004, 05:20 PM

1. Tired but happy in God's great out doors, we wended our way home.

We threw the bottles in the boot and pissed upon the fireplace,
and Lennie said, ‘The park’s a hoot. Now have a few at my place.’

2. A goodly number of newspapers reported the trials and tribulations of the survivors.

The press, who sometimes choose to sweeten,
say, No survivors have been eaten.

3. Conspicuous by her absence was the young hopeful who had embarked on the sea of life.

When auntie said, Her mind is like a sewer!
she meant, Young Dottie’s yachting with the brewer.

4. Hungry as bears, the swimmers did justice to the meal that they barbecued with breakneck speed.

Swimmers by lust for food obsessed -
don’t barbecue until you’ve dressed.

5. Like a bolt from a clear blue sky, the news came that Ginny was the proud owner of a new car.

As much surprise as cruel thrill -
Ginny’s licensed now to kill.

6. We had the privilege of listening to a mere slip of girl who favoured us with a selection.

Young ladies sing us songs - there’s not much sexier;
unless, of course, your one has anorexia.

7. After working like Trojans to pack the suitcases, we were doomed to disappointment because the taxi did not arrive until the wee, small hours of the morning, too late for us to catch the red-eye special to Windsor.

We waited ready but no taxi came;
we take the 5 am, not midnight, plane.

8. The speaker beat a hasty retreat after gales of laughter greeted his proposal.

‘Support me or incur my odium!’
Their giggles spiked him from the podium.

9. As my better half would say, "Don't act so high and mighty."

The wife might say, It’s time to stop, my dear;
one inch more up yourself, you’ll disappear.

10. As luck would have it, mother nature provided us with a camera buff's paradise.

Click! What a ripper!
Nature with no zipper!