Ahem...

[Bela]

As you'll note from the now statically de-googled banner up yonder, would-be supporters of the PFFA may now reward themselves with genuine, unique, PFFA "Read more poetry" coffee mugs and other nifty odds and ends via our online shop.

Suggestions for other types of merchandise that would hypnotically compel you to throw some money at the PFFA are most welcome. We can do everything from pink t-shirts to fuzzy animals to bumper stickers. Shakespeare sonnets on a coffee mug? Most cutting response to puerile cliché-ridden tripe posted in Merciless immortalized on a mousepad? Your wish is our command.

A comfortable profit margin that bumps straight back to the PFFA is built into the rather elevated prices.

Many thanks,

Béla
tirelessly seeking sustainability

[Jeanne G]

Well Bela,

We all know how women like to shop. PFFA memorabilia - oh goody, I'm in. My bf won't know what hit his credit card.



Jeanne

[Donner]

Ooooooh....

[tbm]

Some ideas:

"Pick of the Litter"

"BANNED"

"I heart garyg" (with Gary's permission, of course)

bates

[jsdealy]

A few suggestions:
Scavella's Mantra tee-shirt

A "certified" PFFA [color=red]plack[/color]

[SarahJF]

Lovely as squiggly celtic swirls are, I'd go for the following extracts, as summing up an atmosphere peculiar to pffa:

1: Someone called my poem pointless piffle, foul-smelling fluff, a wanton waste of bandwidth, or otherwise drove the spike of an unkind review through the oh-so-tender tissues of my ever-so-sensitive heart. Also my soul. What do I do?
Thank them. Always.

There are 16 forums for poetry and one for prose, so you could conceivably post 17 insightful, compelling, precision-crafted works of high art every 24 hours, or one every 85 minutes, provided you don't sleep.


10: What is the point of poetry?
We'll get back to you on that one. Somehow, we suspect it could require a somewhat lengthy reply.


Sarah
(Sorry, but the posting guidelines are brilliant, I think. I spilt tea on the keyboard when I first read them, on arrival at pffa)

[Harry R]

I still think the thwan thong is a winner.

http://prodtn.cafepress.com/9/7948939_F_tn.jpg

[Kaem]

I like the "try to have your writing make sense" slogan, but I don't think I'll be buying the thong.

Hooded sweatshirts? Please, please, please!

[Jeanne G]

that thong might be instantly more saleable, esp. in Italy and his recent vacation haunts.

Other than that, yah hoodies would be good.



Jeanne

[earthshoes]

Well, thank goodness . . . I thought I was going to have to over seas and swipe Harry's mug.

And I now know what I want for Mothers Day. Until you run out of merchandise I will never be hard to shop for again.

Thanks Bela.



Suggestions:

Bathrobes, washrags, soap on a rope,

troll dolls with their own straight pins and instructions . . .

[Melanie]

Oh man, Bela, you're in so much trouble.




[QUOTE]Originally posted by tbm


"I heart garyg" (with Gary's permission, of course)


*I've got to have one of these (with Gary's permission, of course)

Other ideas:

"I said "fuck" and didn't get "BANNED"

"Let's take it Outside"

"No Whining"

"Welcome - Heh, heh-heh" (Or "Velcome")

"Leave your ego at the door"

"Let's poetry naked"

[Jeanne G]

Hip hip hooray for P F F A!





Jeanne

(ya cheezy, I recommend broccoli w/ it)

[Scavella]

These can be put on anything at all, but I favour a coffee mug for the first, a t-shirt for the second:

Try to have your writing make sense.

Flounce, don't announce.

And of course, something about

flow

[Jeanne G]

Originally posted by Scavella


And of course, something about

flow
Let the flow be with you.

Yes the flow is strong in that one.

Yur flow aint to goode, ya know.

"I'll get you my pretty, and your little poem too."
The Wizard of Flow

How flow can you go?

Why the fuck don't you fix your flow?

Hey, go with the flow you fascist Nazi moderator. (flounce)

Flows well with others.

It has a beat I can flow to.


Jeanne

[B.D.]

I'd like a hooded sweatshirt with my favorite Howard quote. I believe it was Dunc that nominated this one for an award:

Ah, woe is me.
*Rends garments*
*Tears hair*
*Beats breast*
*Bans moron*

Also, there's some great Fukyus floating around here....somewhere.....challenges maybe?

Brian

[Bela]

All superb suggestions. I'll get right on them. Might I request that any individuals whose quotes have been nominated to adorn sweatshirts and the like (and, of course, gary for the soon-to-be top selling "i heart garyg" line) post their permission or withholding thereof in this thread?

And many thanks to the new contributors and subscribers who are helping keep this thing afloat.

Béla

[Empty Chairs]

Girlie t-shirt, thong... something girlie with:

[SIZE=3]PFFA slut[/SIZE]

or

[SIZE=3]poetry slut[/SIZE]

or something with "slut" in it. My new favourite word.

[SarahJF]

HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

A thong. My God, a pffa thong. Whatever next.


Sarah

[Empty Chairs]

I'm enjoying this.!

"Support your local poet"

"I have read and understood the rules for posting in Merciless
and hereby proffer the porcupine voodoo doll of my poetic soul for your pricking pleasure"

"The Plagiarist Polka"

What about people's subtitles, providing that they don't mind?

"Cranky person"

"We Need More Mimes"

"Puddle of awe"

"Weeps Moon Shards"

"Aspirant Village Idiot"

"Owner of 1 Ink Black Soul"

Or, flounces:

"I feel as if I am in my own native Cuba again, or had been transported to a Third-Dimension where Big Brother still rules over helpless proles and one fattened oligarch vies with the other in doggish devotion to the party line and in the savage persecution of those who demonstrate independent thought or the least vestige of character."

"i apoligize for sounding like a newbie with a soap box"

Or, from Harry:

"Fuck the poetry community."

"Fuck GOD. Fuck all gods."

Or garyg:

"Please make some attempt to read and comprehend the Posting Guidelines before you make such an utter horse's hindquarters of yourself again."

Or pimpymoon:

"My monkey is writing a letter of complaint."

People here come up with some genius slogans. Hats off to all of you.

[Kaem]

Hey Béla,

I'm not sure if you had this in mind when you registered the domain, but every time I think everypoet, I'm reminded of this old poem:

Sir, I admit your general rule,
That every poet is a fool.
But you yourself may serve to show it,
That every fool is not a poet.

It's got to be at least 200 years old, because I've seen it attributed to people going as far back as Samuel Taylor Coleridge and Alexander Pope, so we could safely lift the "every fool is not a poet" line--it seems appropriate considering all the fools who can't write that keep showing up on this site. I think it would look snazzy on the back of a t-shirt or hooded sweatshirt with the everypoet.org domain name under it.

"Try to have your writing make sense" is a garygism I think, unless he lifted that from someone else, so we'll have to ask him about that one.

[cookala]

snip

[cookala]

Originally posted by lear
I'd like a hooded sweatshirt with my favorite Howard quote. I believe it was Dunc that nominated this one for an award:

Ah, woe is me.
*Rends garments*
*Tears hair*
*Beats breast*
*Bans moron*

Brian

I second that.
And I'd like to see it printed on a tin foil hat.

Also, maybe think about adding these to your stock:

pink t-shirt: on the front, a tuba and on the back a vespa and a vulva pet pocketbook (in honor of Rachel)

poodle skirts

t-shirt with slogans: front - three crits for every poem,
back - one post per forum per day


slogans:

someone called my poem pointless piffle

caution: foul-smelling fluff zone

woe is I, my poem has been thrown
outisde

mmwwwwaaaahahahahahahahaha



cookala
*snicker, snicker*

[Harry R]

http://prodtn.cafepress.com/0/10600120_F_tn.jpg

[Harry R]

How about a bumper sticker -

"I brake mainly on nons and verbs"

[cookala]

Originally posted by Harry R
http://prodtn.cafepress.com/0/10600120_F_tn.jpg

I want one!!

[Kaem]

Me too!

[Scavella]

Originally posted by Kaem
"Try to have your writing make sense" is a garygism I think, unless he lifted that from someone else, so we'll have to ask him about that one.

They were all, all garygisms. (http://www.everypoet.org/pffa/showthread.php?s=&postid=150051#post150051)

[Jeanne G]

Originally posted by Empty Chairs

What about people's subtitles, providing that they don't mind?

"Cranky person"

"We Need More Mimes"

"Puddle of awe"

"Weeps Moon Shards"***

"Aspirant Village Idiot"

"Owner of 1 Ink Black Soul"

Or, from Harry:

"Fuck the poetry community."

"Fuck GOD. Fuck all gods."


People here come up with some genius slogans. Hats off to all of you.
When quoting Harry this would be my top pick:

"I hate hate hate Roland Fucking Barthes, Jacques Fucking Derrida and Jack 'The Cunt' Lacan.
But it might just be me.

Harry
they are to literary theory what Stephen Hawking is to pop."


I also hereby give copyright permission for my own nominated subtitle. Feel free to plaster:

"Weeps Moon Shards"***

on whatever people want to see it on.


Jeanne

[Empty Chairs]

I also hereby give copyright permission for my own nominated subtitle. Feel free to plaster:

"Weeps Moon Shards"***

on whatever people want to see it on.


It'd be good on an eyemask.

[jsdealy]

Originally posted by Donner:

See the dot:
[size=4][color=red]•[/color][/size]

The dot is red.

The dot appears on threads that you post to.

You wonder what the dot means.

This is what the dot means:

When you post to a thread, the red dot appears.

The dots help you keep track of the threads you've posted to.

You will only see your dots, not anyone elses.

They will not harm you, but I might if I have to answer this question just one more time. Heh.This, in whole or part, would be a great on a tee-shirt.

[Dunc]

There seems not the slighest doubt that a pffa tinfoil hat (as illustrated) would be a natural winner - I mean, I myself would feel incomplete without one.

Thanks, then, to cookala, whose idea it was, and to Harry for his illustration, and to garyg, who, as far as my discernment goes, made the hat a conversational item in pffa.

Respects / Dunc

[Kim]

Holy shit! I'm gone for a week and the whole place is all a-twitter. Apprectices! Coffee mugs! Thongs, for Pete's sake!

I think he who wins the Apprentice competition should pose for a pic wearing the thong holding the coffee mug. And we'll put it on a t-shirt.

Kim
spent and exhausted from reading all the new stuff

P.S. The fukyu (http://www.everypoet.org/pffa/showthread.php?s=&threadid=3894&perpage=15&highlight=fukyu&pagenumber=1) thread is replete with ideas. Stick any one of 'em on a mug or t-shirt and I'll buy it.

[Harry R]

Originally posted by Kim
spent and exhausted

Hey Kim, nice to have you back.

[Kim]

Thanks. I've just spent a week in the lush and tropical land that is . . . Illinois! Not quite Italy, eh, you lucky dog.

Kim

And now I've overcooked my tortelinni while reading in the Watering Hole. Priorities. Sheesh.

[Dani B]

This was always my fave fukyu:

Definitely is
spelled with an i not an a
you ignorant ass.


-dani b
[SIZE=1]struggling not to quote that on PFFA daily[/SIZE]

[Kim]

Garyg is my muse.

Kim

Hey -- we could put THAT on a t-shirt!

[Harry R]

Perhaps we need some PFFA Apprentice merchandise.

[Rik Roots]

Originally posted by Harry R
Perhaps we need some PFFA Apprentice merchandise.

You mean like branded whips, flails, torture furniture?

(I think I'm being influenced by The Passion of the Christ, but not in the way intended by St Mel...)

[HowardM2]

How about t-shirts and coffee mugs inscribed:

I was a PFFA Apprentice contender
and all I got was FIRED!

[Harry R]

http://zoom.cafepress.com/3/4268493_zoom.jpg

[Autumn]

Cool. I love the colour.

Autumn

[cookala]

Originally posted by Rik Roots
You mean like branded whips, flails, torture furniture?


Rik, you forgot to list dunce caps.

[Lola Two]

Dunce caps? Don't you mean dunce toupees?

Lola
add your own accent grave, you lazy hos

[cookala]

that works, too!

[Harry R]

*cough*

[Harry R]

http://prodtn.cafepress.com/5/8048015_F_tn.jpg http://prodtn.cafepress.com/5/8048015_B_tn.jpg

http://zoom.cafepress.com/6/4282796_zoom.jpg

[Autumn]

Arrgghhh! I love beautiful coffee mugs and I can't resist the urge to possess them.

Autumn
wondering how it could reach me in one piece and betting that the postage is going to be more costly than the mug

[Jeanne G]

Originally posted by Autumn
wondering how it could reach me in one piece and betting that the postage is going to be more costly than the mug
It is usually when you order one of those dirt cheap second hand books online that the postage costs more. When I ordered the beer stien, the postage to Canada was $6.00, a bit more reasonable than I expected.



Jeanne

[Autumn]

Originally posted by Jeanne G
It is usually when you order one of those dirt cheap second hand books online that the postage costs more.

I suppose you're right. I don't expect this to be a dirt cheap coffee mug, heh.

Cheers,
Autumn

[antidora]

I want a Scavella Mantra T-shirt.
Now!!
I mean, my friend Giorgio could produce an exclusive single copy for me at enormous price, but I would feel better buying a genuine PFFA Scavella mantra T-shirt at a less enormous price that would give Bela a decent profit margin.
Giorgio's profit margins are the most indecent thing you ever saw since the Sundance Kid's candyfloss hairdo and botulin injections in Indecent . And he (Giorgio not Sundance, as far as I know) has already bought two Chinese Provinces.
Doesn't Bela deserve a Chinese province? or its cash equivalent?
best wishes
antidora

[B.D.]

I'm not one to lavish myself with compliments, but I must say that I look downright stunning in my newly arrived Pffa t-shirt.....sipping tea from my Pffa mug. I can almost feel The Muse casting that come- hither stare.

Brian
eat your heart out, Fabio!

[Jeanne G]

I'm still laughing at the irony of a PFFA beer stein. Show off your sensitive side and poetic soul, why being a manly man and bending your elbow w/ the boys, heh. My boyfriend loves his fancy new birthday beer mug though, it's very solid and heavy too.

Any worries about breakables arriving broken can be laid to rest right here. The mug was so tightly bound w/ bubblebag wrapped around it at least 3 times, you could have played football w/ the box it came in and it wouldn't have broken.

Cheers all.



Jeanne

[Bela]

Hi folks,

After my usual six month delay, I'm pleased to announce that an enhanced collection of nifty PFFA merchandise is now available at our PFFA store. Many of the suggestions offered in this thread have been incorporated, and a slew of additional items featuring even more suggested suggestions are in the works. What better way could there be to support the PFFA than to wear a classic Fukyu by Kim, or to slurp latte from a mug featuring an urgent call for a greater concentration of non-verbal artistic stylists in the general population?

And it goes without saying that our tinfoil hats will never, ever go out of style.

Have a look, and remember there are less than three shopping months until Christmas!

http://www.cafepress.com/umbrella_shop/276494

Béla

[Kim]

I just bought myself a "try to have your writing make sense" t-shirt, which I will wear with pride while teaching my students that cliche is not a fencing term.

Go, Bela!

Kim
cha-ching!

[Donner]

Kim, immortalized!

I'm especially fond of the "Corporate Poet Lackey" t-shirt. Now, it's off to do some shopping! Woo hoo!

Donner

Psst, Béla, how's work on the Amp Site database problemo coming along?

[Bela]

Yay Kim! Yay Donner! Profits from your purchases will help make a wee dent in this month's server expenses.

http://prodtn.cafepress.com/nocache/1/13795751_F_tn.jpghttp://prodtn.cafepress.com/nocache/9/13817819_F_tn.jpg (http://www.cafepress.com/umbrella_shop.13795751)

On the Amp site, don't think I'll have time to tackle it before the (U.S.) election. After that, I will most assuredly try.

Béla