Gabe1
01-03-2001, 11:43 AM
Is it wrong of me to take the titles of my threads from '80s pop songs?
I thought it might be helpful to try and present a little blurb about focus in poetry. One of the lessons that I had ground into me and I see some other young poets also struggling with is keeping the focus of their poems clear, or limited. Being a random sort of fellow I like leaping from image to image as much as the next bloke, but it doesn't do much to help the reader.
A good exercise when drafting poems is to try to stay focused on one thing, and one thing only. This is an oversimplification, but it is a good place to start. Lets say you are going to write a poem about the cute little stuffed animal you have on your dresser. When drafting the poem, make an effort to always keep the images returning to the central object, which we will call Fluffy. Using cleverly constructed concrete images, you brilliantly describe how Fluffy's vapid eyes return the glare of passing cars, the oddly comforting tilt of his squishy head, etc. Always bringing the focus back to Fluffy, as he is the central object and controlling metaphor of the poem.
Of course, as clever readers we recognize that the poem is not really about Fluffy. Rather it is about the gentle apathy that comforts the lives of young suburbanites, or how awful it is to feel displaced and abandoned in the presence of symbols of joy, or how mommy never loved you, and so forth. The reason that the actual message of the poem can be understood in a meaningful way is because the focus of the poem is kept to a range that can be followed. Had the poem began by describing Fluffy's eyes, then moved to the texture of the trees outside, then the carpet's unusual smell and so on, the reader can soon become lost and smothered under the connotations of all the images.
I think it is worthwhile to note that when I encourage keeping the poem's focus to one thing, this is inclusive of events, people and such. Consider the following poem by our own kas:
It's Tradition
The last time I thought of George
I lay beside Martin, spent
in the flannel of his room,
knees cooled on the window.
I inhaled the smell of boy,
the nostril singe of winter,
the licklip scent of cider.
Face shifted for a taste,
I caught the broken light
split in quarters under the door,
the tortoiseshell shadow
of foot, light, foot, light.
I sensed the silent raised-fist knock:
George in the triangle of the hall,
hand suspended under the arch
like mistletoe.
We have got quite a few interesting and evocative images in there, but the focus of the poem is on a single scene, which all of the images are intricately and directly connected to.
Anywho, as with all of the recommendations and suggestions I make, remember that these are not rules per se, but guidelines. I hope they point in a beneficial direction.
Be well
-Gabriel
(As a note: Katie, I didn't get a chance to ask you about using your poem as an example, I didn't think you would mind, but if it's a problem let me know and I will remove it immediately.)
I thought it might be helpful to try and present a little blurb about focus in poetry. One of the lessons that I had ground into me and I see some other young poets also struggling with is keeping the focus of their poems clear, or limited. Being a random sort of fellow I like leaping from image to image as much as the next bloke, but it doesn't do much to help the reader.
A good exercise when drafting poems is to try to stay focused on one thing, and one thing only. This is an oversimplification, but it is a good place to start. Lets say you are going to write a poem about the cute little stuffed animal you have on your dresser. When drafting the poem, make an effort to always keep the images returning to the central object, which we will call Fluffy. Using cleverly constructed concrete images, you brilliantly describe how Fluffy's vapid eyes return the glare of passing cars, the oddly comforting tilt of his squishy head, etc. Always bringing the focus back to Fluffy, as he is the central object and controlling metaphor of the poem.
Of course, as clever readers we recognize that the poem is not really about Fluffy. Rather it is about the gentle apathy that comforts the lives of young suburbanites, or how awful it is to feel displaced and abandoned in the presence of symbols of joy, or how mommy never loved you, and so forth. The reason that the actual message of the poem can be understood in a meaningful way is because the focus of the poem is kept to a range that can be followed. Had the poem began by describing Fluffy's eyes, then moved to the texture of the trees outside, then the carpet's unusual smell and so on, the reader can soon become lost and smothered under the connotations of all the images.
I think it is worthwhile to note that when I encourage keeping the poem's focus to one thing, this is inclusive of events, people and such. Consider the following poem by our own kas:
It's Tradition
The last time I thought of George
I lay beside Martin, spent
in the flannel of his room,
knees cooled on the window.
I inhaled the smell of boy,
the nostril singe of winter,
the licklip scent of cider.
Face shifted for a taste,
I caught the broken light
split in quarters under the door,
the tortoiseshell shadow
of foot, light, foot, light.
I sensed the silent raised-fist knock:
George in the triangle of the hall,
hand suspended under the arch
like mistletoe.
We have got quite a few interesting and evocative images in there, but the focus of the poem is on a single scene, which all of the images are intricately and directly connected to.
Anywho, as with all of the recommendations and suggestions I make, remember that these are not rules per se, but guidelines. I hope they point in a beneficial direction.
Be well
-Gabriel
(As a note: Katie, I didn't get a chance to ask you about using your poem as an example, I didn't think you would mind, but if it's a problem let me know and I will remove it immediately.)